4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
