I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Randomize
