We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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