Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
