So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
