Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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