The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize