I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
