Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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