The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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