come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
