you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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