Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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