is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
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