I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
