Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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