Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
