the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
