I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
