if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
