dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
