Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
