I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
