Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
