I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
We need to get me chipped asap
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
