I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
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