Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize