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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Send help, water and tortillas.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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