dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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