Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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