STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
