I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
