Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
COCAINE IS GR8
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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