oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
