To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
