I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
