So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
