wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
