i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
