is your mom at the bar?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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