Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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