so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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