Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
