ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Randomize
