so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
