just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
