I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
