My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
