hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
