Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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