i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
