Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
