Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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