Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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