You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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