i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
