I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
