real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
