I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
