Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
