Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
