i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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