i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize