its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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