Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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