playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
