first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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