walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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