it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
