So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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