I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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