she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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