I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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