Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
