Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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