We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize