I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Will exercising make me less horny?
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