Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
