Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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