I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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