with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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