I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
